So This is my Life

Love In An Elevator Aerosmith

2011-03-21T11:02:00.000-07:00

yeah this is my life.....

2010-06-29T15:45:00.000-07:00

I am so on edge today and I have no reason to be or know why I am.

Just not feeling all that great. Life has been a see-saw as of late many ups and downs.

but I am trying to be positive about things. My kids are driving me nuts, my poor mom I know how she felt now. I try so hard to do the write things, have been being good and staying home, not drinking but thats about to take its toll on my brain, I need to be numb. this shit sucks.

OMG

2010-06-11T22:10:00.001-07:00

i have never ever been so scared, Leo got out the back door and went a whole city block b/f we discovered he was missing, I cried so hard, all i could think of is what if something terrible happened to him, he can't talk omg it terrifies me endless. my older son left the back door open and leo took out on his adventure, I really need to get one of those medical bracelets with his medical condition .

its taken forever for me to update my blog

2010-06-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

I lost my husband and the pain is more than I ever thought i could bare, I have made some aweful

mistakes since his death, but I am learning and healing. I miss him so much, i find my self just sitting looking out the window crying for hours on end,because i want to touch him tell him i love him hold him. its very painful to type everything I went thru as he passed but I believe in my heart I done everything he wished to happen. I have 3 of his boys that will carry there Fathers name and memory forever, i LOOK INTO THEIR eyes and I see him, he lives thru them and thru me and his family. HE must never ever be forgotten, I will remember him forever, I am not saying that I wont be human, but I know the love we shared was real,we may have clashes like the Titans BUT I know his love was real and true and deep. I miss him, and sometimes I wish I could just go be with him, but I can't I have to continue to live for my children...But its so hard when love is taken from you. I tried to replace it and it wasn't real, it was an infatuation, a loneliness I tried so hard to fill, but I am telling you that void can not be filled, the pain and the aching are so full that you feel like your gonna explode. I am trying to deal with this all in my own way and truthfully its not going so good. I love him and want him back but nothing can bring him back to me, he is gone and i am all alone with out him i must learn to face the darkness alone.

IN memory of my LOVE MICHAEL EDWARD WALKER

2010-05-31T23:56:00.000-07:00

Audioslave - Like A Stone

2010-05-27T13:57:00.000-07:00

Dustun Finishes High School

2009-05-27T06:40:00.001-07:00

aww bittersweet.. I am very proud of my oldest son, he completes a Milestone on May 29th,he will graduate from Hamilton County High school.

Part of my dream for him will come true on this day, he will stretch his wings and fly high...

I am so excited for him, his future begins and his journey to better things starts Friday.

I pray that his charcter stays strong and he continues making me proud!

Leo~End of year party

2009-05-27T06:04:00.000-07:00

I went to his end of the year party and had such a wonderful time with Him and the school staff,

the theme was Hawaiian Luau, it was so good to see Leo interact, he really has came a long way.

we are still having issues with his tantrums, but I can see that school as done wonders for him.

I am excited to see what next year brings,Leos last day will be May 29th, where he will enjoy a short break before going back for Summer School.

I am adding some pictures of the Luau, Mr Torres and Mrs Love are the other people in the pictures with Leo...

changes

2009-02-23T19:52:00.001-08:00

well with much thought, I have decided to go back to school, I am hoping to get accepted into nursing,but if not I still plan on doing something... a brain ia an awesome thing to waste you know,lol.
also Dustun will graduate on May 29th, my heart is tore in two directions, now don't miss understand, I wish him much success in his future endeavors but I am already alone in my heart with out him...
He wants to mold minds of youngsters I know he is gonna do a great job,but he is my first born and this change is gonna take some getting use too...
much love to you my son!

Michael turns 17...

2008-12-27T18:56:00.000-08:00

on Dec 28th Mikey my second born will be 17... he will have his party next weekend.
can't believe he is all grown up, seems like yesterday and he was born.
he is very special to me, at 3 he was diagnosised with autism... he has over come such odds.
He also had severe asthma and has since out grown that as well too
Happy Birthday my Dear Son!

2008-12-24T14:56:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM CHEFKIM & FAMILY.....AND A JOYOUS NEW YEAR TO!
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas –Have yourself a merry little Christmas,Let your heart be light From now on,our troubles will be out of sight Have yourself a merry little Christmas,Make the Yule-tide gay,From now on, our troubles will be miles away.Here we are as in olden days,Happy golden days of yore.Faithful friends who are dear to us Gather near to us once more.Through the years We all will be together,If the Fates allow, Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.And have yourself A merry little Christmas Day.

2008-12-24T14:53:00.000-08:00

this is a picture of Leo Taken at his schools christmas party, his teacher is holding him...
note how happy he is... I am so happy with his progress....

2008-12-24T14:49:00.000-08:00

me and kaelin picture was taken on 12/23.... Kaelin is doing much better. he was pretty sick for a bit, Elijah to is over his sickness... seems like Leo isn't feeling well today, been sleeping and laying around... kaelin goes on 12/30 for his 2 month check up he is huge, I AM so curious as to what he weighs now....will update then... oh and he smiles and laughs he is so happy now that he isn't sick.

surgery scheduled for me

2008-12-24T14:46:00.000-08:00

I will be having a lump removed on the 31st, pretty sure its benign
but I just don't want it there....
I have had 2 other lumps removed and both turned out to be nothing but still
its scary any way.
wonder what the new year holds for me? I will be sure to cook blacked peas and greens
for dinner and not to wash clothes either on new years day...I am so superstitious...

2008-12-20T19:17:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas from Chefkim and family... may Christmas Blessings find you!

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas –
Have yourself a merry little Christmas,Let your heart be lightFrom now on,our troubles will be out of sightHave yourself a merry little Christmas,Make the Yule-tide gay,From now on, our troubles will be miles away.Here we are as in olden days,Happy golden days of yore.Faithful friends who are dear to us Gather near to us once more.Through the years We all will be together,If the Fates allow, Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.And have yourself A merry little Christmas Day.

December is here

2008-12-02T15:57:00.000-08:00

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!

Daddy & Elijah

2008-12-02T15:48:00.000-08:00

today Daddy and Elijah went on an outing.... Elijah was such a big boy. they had mcdonalds for lunch... Daddy brought Elijah home fast asleep :)

Leo eats with a spoon!

2008-11-21T10:24:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged in so long I need to write about my Leos New teacher, Mr. Torres, he truly is a blessing! He is helping Leo in great ways, like for instance, Leo would never ever use a spoon to eat with he would simply throw it to the floor and use his hands or have a tantrum, but now as you see in the picture he is using his spoon and this is b/c Mr. Torres has reached Leo like no one else has been able to do, I am so ecstatic and can't wait to see more of the improvements and accomplishments to come.... Leo is even interacting with his peers....
also he no longer is on risperdal. I am so excited for Leo and can't wait till he calls me Mommy!!!!

brrr its cold

2008-11-21T10:22:00.000-08:00

Nov 18th 25 degrees in Fl... brrr its Cold!

1 month old

2008-11-21T10:18:00.000-08:00

ok where in the world does the time go? its been a month already... its so hard to believe...
Kaelin is sleeping fair his longest sleep duration has been 5 hours. he was so sick for a bit but seems to be doing a bit better. I have to suction his nose and he hates it....
he spends his days sleeping eating and poohing,lol...

Halloween 08

2008-11-02T10:04:00.000-08:00

Halloween was pretty layed back here this year, we stayed in and handed out candy, the bigger kids took Leo and Elijah trick or treating, Elijah was a cute lion he went for the suckers which made me so nervous I was so affraid of him choking... But he loved them... Leo was woody from toy story, he was so cute and didn't eat any of the candy, but he enjoyed walking around the neighborhood with his older brothers and Elijah....

Kaelin Kohl is born!

2008-11-02T10:00:00.000-08:00

we got to the hospital at 9:30 and got ready for the c-section an emergency came up and we got bumped from 12:00 to 1:30
I was so nervous, at 2:05 on Oct 24th 2008 Kaelin came into the world.
He weighed in at 9 pounds 2 oz and measured 20 and a half inches.
we stayed at the hospital until Monday the 27th. I have been home recovering and relaxing and enjoying my newest baby!

more to come on my 6th son....

2008-10-20T06:03:00.000-07:00

this is 3 of my boys Jared,Elijah, and Michael...this is Eli's ritual every night he likes to watch nick toons before bed with his brothers.He is growing and learning so fast, he is 20 months old now.

He loves to play ball and has grown quite independent, he prefers to feed himself with his spoon,

he makes such a mess but I know its good for him to learn to do these things. he takes great pride in being such a big boy.... H e had his flu shot last week and was really pissed about that lol

he doesn't care for shots... and he acts so shy around people he doesn't know, makes me laugh if they only knew... All of my boys got the flu shot so hopefully they will stay well this flu season...

have you gotten your shot yet?

woohoo coming soon

2008-10-19T12:43:00.001-07:00

c-section date is Oct 24th...I will be sure to update blog as soon as I possibly can! woohoo not long now.....

don't forget to vote

2008-10-19T12:41:00.001-07:00

polls open Nov 4th for primary!

elijah doing clothes again

2008-10-04T17:54:00.000-07:00

lol no real blog to mention but I just wanted to show off my Elijah bugar... he is mommies
lil helper for sure, he tried to feed Kaelin an apple jack yesterday threw my belly...
isn't he just to cute!

Leos 2nd confrenece at school

2008-10-04T17:42:00.000-07:00

well again I had to go to the school and have a conference about my son, he is so full of anxiety when it comes to school...I got his Dr. involved this time and I had him talk to the ese coordinator for our county and I called the head ese coordinator for Florida, I expressed my concerns with his teacher and the fact he is main streamed, I requested he change teachers and be put in with the ese children, I think its real dumb any way to try and main stream a newly diagnosed autistic child, I WAS VERY UPSET but I researched and researched educating special need children I learned what I could and presented my thoughts and ideas to the school, ultimately we decided to put Leo in the ese class, where he should have started out in the first place, he has started injuring himself even more that ever,scratches his self hits self, it is so horrible to watch, I try to restrain him but sometimes you can't get to him quick enough...
he is on 0.4 mg of risperdal 2x a day and also clondine for sleep 0.1 mg at night.
I pray this helps him, please if your reading keep us in your thoughts..
thanks

p/s 3rd confrenece scheduled for 10/17

My son another tebow?

2008-09-04T19:53:00.000-07:00

This is Jared my 3rd born... tonight he played football for his school the first game of the year.

They played at home, and he kicked booty,lol his jersey # is 15 he plays quarterback and on the defense. He was quite awesome he recovered some fumbles, made a few tackles, but his glory came when he threw a 35 yard TD pass... ultimely it was taken back, but still he did his part, the TD was taken back due to a foul by one of Jared's team mates as he had a personal foul called on him...they played the Fort White Indians 30-0 final score in favor of the Mighty Trojans... woohoo go Trojans!

Elijah 18 months and above his milestones...

2008-09-02T04:13:00.000-07:00

this is Elijah, he is so smart I just can't get over what he already knows and accomplishes.

He loves to help if he sees you doing it he can do, so its in his mind...lol

He will help us sweep the floor do the laundry cook (he has his very on bowl and spoon that

he uses on the floor while Mommy is at the stove.) He also likes to help his big brothers looking for cans and getting those ready to recycle,one night at game night he saw us playing Yahtzee and pitched a fit to play so my hubby gave him the dice and he rolled them in his little hands all 5 dice and threw them and yelled Yahtzee,I thought everyone was gonna explode with laughter it was so funny and neat. HE loves to play the guitar and sing, he either will strum on his dads or his little toy one as seen above.

and he adores football and can throw really hard to.

He will imitate his big brother Michael by putting on his cap and running around all day just like that. Now mind you he is only 18 months, but he sure has stolen our hearts... :)

Leos First day at school, was chaos!

2008-08-31T18:34:00.000-07:00

well Leo started school on 8/18,it was a Monday and he didn't want to stay but I left him any ways, much to my dismay I had barely returned home, and my husband met me at the door and told me to head back to the school to get Leo as he had hurt himself, I drove the 10 miles back to pick him up, he was so upset and he had literally scratched his face, neck side and buttocks with his fingers. I took him home I was so upset, how could those teachers allow him to hurt himself? I decided till we had a sit down meeting I would not return him to school.
Aug 20th my birthday was the meeting there were many people at this meeting from the E.S.E
Director to the principal, the school nurse, speech therapist, behavioral therapist, as well as a psychologist, and the teachers and my self. THE main goal for this meeting mind you is that we come to a median for a support system for Leo's needs. we were going good till the teacher spoke, seems she was more concerned for the other children and their parents then she was my child, don't misunderstand I do know that the other kids are important but she should have held her own meeting to discuss this not at Leos Meeting! I got very emotional and started to cry, I didn't cause my son to be like this, its not his fault,why are we being treated so horrible, like he doesn't matter just heavens forbid the other children and their parents be subjected to such... OMG.... I truly have never been so upset for my child in my life, I also found out that the teacher was totally doing the wrong things by having me pick him up when he throwed a fit last year, now we have reinforced negative behaviors and we must undo this damage.
its also horrible to know that the parent has to give permission to the school so that they can keep your/my child from harming them selves. HOW RIDICULOUS is that...
He is back in school and as of now has completed 1 week with minimal incident, I just really hope my Little Leo gets the chance to learn and socialize with other kids.
I will continue thru the year to blog on his accomplishments!

Introducing you to....

2008-08-21T16:36:00.001-07:00

Introducing you to Kaelin Kohl Walker.... yes I am having my final Boy! I am very excited about this,I also must say that I feel blessed to have this child as I did have a tubal reversal and I have been blessed with 3 post TR babies... the arrival date will be around Oct 24th via C-section.

Leo's Room Invites you :)

2008-08-16T14:02:00.000-07:00

Please remember to visit Leo's Room,lots of fun stuff to do and see, also very informative info for you to research. visit us anytime!

http://z11.invisionfree.com/Leos_Room/index.php?act=idx

also visit our trivia site and play some trivia

http://my.funtrivia.com/private/main.cfm?tid=52670

2008-08-15T13:08:00.000-07:00

AWW MY ELIJAH is getting so big(18 months old), he imitates every thing he sees, from throwing the ball to house cleaning he sweeps with his own little broom, and he helps put the clothes in the dryer, but I usually wont let me take the clothes out b/c I do not want him to get burnt...
He also is obsessed with cans, my older teens collect them to recycle and they use their feet to crush the can, so Elijah has to help of course and if he sees a can rather it be in use or not, he throws a fit to crush it,m funny uh?
He likes to throw the ball and copies the older boys on the mechanics of the throw... its just real fun to watch him, he likes Elmo right now, but he watches cars b/c Leo likes that show... he is a sweet darling little boy, He is so precious and he keeps me smiling.....

Leo Loves to swing...

2008-07-29T16:24:00.000-07:00

Elijah AND Daddy

2008-07-29T16:17:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend we went to a Bon voyage cook out, My sister in law is going out of state to work for a spell, so we had a nice dinner over there. Her hubby grilled a nice brisket and smoked a turkey, it was relaxing. Elijah seen the big kids playing football and decided he was goona be quarter back,lol...He is such a ham. he also knows how to play yahtzee he rolls all 5 dice and yells yahtzee, he gets mad when its not his turn and throws a fit...

Belly Shot for July 2008

2008-07-21T17:39:00.000-07:00

WANTING TO SAHRE: some happy news, this is me picture was taken just today.
I am 25 weeks pregnant to day,pretty darn huge too... GIRL OR BOY? THAT IS THE 100 $ QUESTION want to take a guess? http://www.expectnet.com/game.php
Play our baby game :guessing pool: game name is walkerbaby6 ...

R.I.P Wesley Delane Willingham "Butch"In Loving Memory Of...

2008-07-20T13:40:00.000-07:00

WESLEY DELANE WILLINGHAM :AKA: "BUTCH"

read the full newspaper article here...

http://www.gainesville.com/article/20080721/NEWS/138894910

VERY SAD NEWS TODAY...
my uncle (my dad's brother passed away yesterday in a boating accident he drowned... )
My Father is taking it very hard and I am unable to be by his side, I so hurt...
My Dad loved his Brother, they were best friends and now he is so torn up over the loss...
Uncle Butch born Wesley Delane Willingham WAS a very fun type of person he was always making jokes and being silly... He left behind a wife and a couple of boys, 4 brothers and 1 sister as well. He will be missed very much..."Uncle Butch you will forever live in the hearts of those whom loved you..."

PREGNANCY ~AND BABY#6

2008-07-20T13:31:00.000-07:00

NOW TO ON TO THIS Pregnancy...

WE really weren't thinking we would get pregnant so soon, we talked about trying to concieve

and just took it lightly, MY husband Michael suffered a heart attack on Feb.2,2008(which I will talk more about at length in another session...)WE certainly didn't think that soon after his heart attack we would concieve a child, but we did, I found out last part of Feb. I was having my 6th child... I was esstatic...I do not know the gnder of the baby, hoping to find that out very soon, some really cool ladies from a message board I post at are responsible for this happening...

I have 5 boys and need a girl, but I will be tickled just to have another boy as well...

We have some names picked out already which I will share a bit later :)

We have decided that this will be our last child I am almost 36, just to old for this pregnancy stuff.... Bbay is Due on Nov. 4th, but I will be having a c-section so we aren't sure the exact

birth date as of yet...

Elijah~Born on Feb 16th

2008-07-18T05:44:00.000-07:00

Now time to meet Elijah, he was born on Feb.16TH.I had to have a C-section with him due to the fact he weighed 10 pounds 9 oz. and didn't seem to moving down any and b/c he wass quite big both the Dr. and I decided it was best.Elijah is or little comedian and boy he is he smart, it took him ablout a day or so to learn to walk he was walking at about 10 months old.

His favorite pass time is to play in the sand.He is very comical as he mimicks eveyone...his brother had to do push ups as a punishment, so Elijah mocked him and did his on kinda push ups. He just makes us all laugh.He is 17 months old he weighs 29 pounds and is 34 inches long, big guy,uh?

He was named after my grandfather whom I have never met. Elijah is so full of energy and spunk and doesn't like the word no but what toddler does right? Continue to watch my blog for more updates on Elijah.I am so amazed at just how smart he is, he truly makes my heart smile!

this is my fourth son Leo~Born On April 4th

2008-07-16T11:44:00.000-07:00

Now on to my fourth...as you can see by the age gap Leo came much later in life, let me elaborate if I may... In 2004 my husband Michael and myself decided to have children one problem my tubes were tied... we researched tubal reversals and decided to take the risk and boy did it pay off...lol I got pregnant with Leo July 2004 I was scared as complications can arise after a post TUBAL REVERSAL, I held my breath that all would be fine, I had a pretty easy pregnancy no huge complications Leo was born at 3:10 am on April 4,2005... I was elated with Joy... Leos seemed to develop normally, but at the age of 15 months we knew something was not right with our little boy, we took him to specialist and had him evaluated he received an MRI and it was finally determined he has autism.Leo's smile and laughter brings much comfort to us, when we receive affection from him its like getting a bag of gold, he can't us verbal words but he uses his hands,eyes and heart to speak to us and we hear him loud and clear... Leo loves to swing on his swing set or splash in his pool, or watch his favorite Disney Movie Cars On TV... He loves his dad
and the bond they share are so awesome... Leo attends a special school for the specially challenged. He is a rare jewel and I am so happy I am his Mommy.

Jared ~My third born~May 1,1994

2008-07-15T19:20:00.000-07:00

Meet My third born Jared Foy.. he is quite the outspoken one... He was born 2 weeks early and weighed in at 8 pounds 15 oz. Jared was a small fragile baby at 18 months old he developed a serve problem in his bowels, he almost died b/f we could get him to the hospital, he endured a
horrid surgery where his bowel was cut out and the remaining sections were sewed back together again... I was so scared he spent 5 days in ICU...
I babied him from that moment on spoiled him beyond belief. Ever since he was 7 he has yearned
to be a quarter back, he loves football and plays for his school I will add some blogs this fall about his football playing and games. He loves frogs he keeps them as pets he loves to fish and he loves to play sports as well.He is in the 8Th grade this year and he makes decent grades...
He is at the age where his hormones is taking control and we is a bit mouthy and loud,but I assume he is growing up?my Mom says I am getting what I gave as a teen... for sure he is growing up and he no longer wants to play with power rangers or stop and McDonald's for a Happy meal... he as new desires and things that are his favorites now, like girls,lol...
But when I look at Jared I see a strong willed person who can accomplish things that may come his way...

Michael ~AKA Mikey~Born Dec.28th

2008-07-14T05:29:00.000-07:00

Now for my 2nd Born Mikey, he was a challenge to bring into the world,he weighed 10 pounds and 11 oz. and graced the world with a broken collar bone. at the tender age of 3 he was pronounced to have autistic like tendencies, he was never officially labeled, he did not speak until he was 5, or any real communication.
He did like normal toys but found his play time invested in pine cones...lol yep pine cones, cheap toys uh? well at the same age 3 he also suffered a horrible asthma attack that landed him in the hospital for 5 days. He grew by the he was 7-8 he no longer cared for pine cones,pine cones were now replaced by Pokemon. AND now I see my self facing an almost grown man, out of all my children I worry for Michael the most, he is so naive and younger than his years,a mother can only hope her son will continue to stay away from harm...
Michael is in the 11Th grade this coming year, He weight lifts and squat 435 pounds. very strong legs, he attends R.O.T.C , HE IS A ROBUST EASY GOING GUY,he is very athletic and strong, but doesn't like to play official football in school, he would rather spend his time on the computer on my space or my year book.... he loves Harry Potter and wrestling... He is the typical teen, just trying to stretch his wings before he flies out of the nest.

My Oldest Dustun Born April 28TH

2008-07-13T12:30:00.000-07:00

This is Dustun My oldest son. I was very young when I gave birth to him.He was born at 2:19 am.He weighed 10 pounds 8 oz. I was very new at this Mom thing but I did a fairly good job i would like to say...
He had such a wild imagination, he loved telling stories and pretending to be Batman
he recieved this costume one year of batman, he wore that thing every day all day. he was quite
the ham at our house...
soon he started Kindergarten, he was kinda slow to learn things to begin with but once he caught on there was no stopping him...
Over the years he was the perfect dream child, never getting into trouble, In Junior high he decided to play the Sax and continued thu the 10th grade, when the school lost their band director, Dustun lost interest and decided to try out for Football, while he wasn't the star player he attended every practice and game and earned much respect from his team mates, I am lucky in the fact Dustun has never ever been a follower but a leader he sets his goals high, and come hell or high water he meets them...
HE IS a senior this year, where did the time go? He turned 18 this past April I took him to register to vote and and to sign up for the selective services...
He got his licenses when he was 16, but he and I and little Brother Leo was in a car accident
and since Dustun has a phobia of driving... I am hoping this will not last...
He has plans to attend college and become a Math teacher...
I am so proud of him and can not wait to see where life takes him as I know he will continue to acheive his dreams one after the other and I feel so honored to be on the side lines watching him prosper...

welcome to my life

2008-07-12T13:34:00.000-07:00

WELL at present I am a Mom of 5 kids with #6 on the way...
I am married to Michael all of 6 years we have been together
for 8. WE live in a small rural town in FL. not much happens here
the bright spot of the day is checking the mail...
we enjoy watching TV, hanging out with the kids I adore the Internet.
I also Love to cook and write poetry and small stories however my
creativety has taken a downward spiral as of late...
My birthday is next month I feel much older than I actually am,I am 35,
My oldest son is 18, he is a senior in high school this year, he makes remarkable
grades, wish I was as smart as him,lol
My Son LEO has Autism and he attends a special school...I will write much about him I am
sure...
I will try to introduce each one of kids and talk about them at length during this blog...
ok I will blog more tomorrow...or later...